New York: The City of NEVER GOING BACK pt. 3

When we last left off, I had just sprinted through a safari to try to make it to my flight on time. I ran up on the train panting out of breath and sweating like a hog. I looked at the lady next to me-composed, poised...she clearly has her shit together. So I ask her, "Hey, this train goes to Newark Airport right?" She stared into the depths of my soul and replied, "I'm sorry, I don't think so."

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go ahead and check out part 1 and part 2 to get caught up on all of my shenanigans.

I looked at this woman with tears in my eyes, knowing I had limited time to catch my flight. I started freaking out internally. "Where is this train going?" "How am I going to make it home?" "What the hell is this life?"

As I was drowning in my invisible tears, the woman looked at me with the warmest smile and said, "Actually this does go to Newark Airport, I usually get off on the first stop so I wasn't sure." I smiled and thanked her for checking. I was so grateful man, this woman just took me to hell and brought me back. I'm not gonna lie, I was tainted with a bit of anger. "BITCHHHH WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW! YOU PUT ME THROUGH A WHOLE DAMN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOATER (shoutout Vivian Green)"

I thanked God up above for his guidance, and sat on that damn train praying that I would make it to my flight on time. I knew that once this train stopped, I needed to not sprint, but literally hit a Usain Bolt to my gate. The train stopped, and I hit that bolt y'all, I was out. Me and little blue (my suitcase, in case you don't remember) were weaving through all sorts of people. Making it through an airport in a rush should be an Olympic sport-I'd win gold every time. Try me. 

I made it all the way to security, took my jacket, shoes, and laptop out with the quickness! I was in first place in my Olympic mind game. Made it through and low and behold, who's bag gets "randomly checked"? Haha, you guessed it! ME! I'm look up at the sky (ceiling) and audibly say "Yo, G... is this a joke?" People look at me and I don't care. 

I wait for a TSA agent to come and check my bag out. I promise I'm not smuggling drugs or dates this time. (Check this post out about my smuggling adventures) I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting. The TSA agent finally arrives, after about 10 minutes (but remember that time is of the essence here, I have a plane to catch!). There are about 2 bags in front of me, and I look at this man with desperation in my eyes and say "Sir, I am about to miss my flight, can you please check my bag first? It's the little blue one." He turns around, looks at my bag and dryly says, "No. Sorry." 

"NIGGGGG....wooosahhh" I sat on the bench, waiting for him to reach my bag fuming. I'm surprised people couldn't see steam coming from the top of my head. I'm brown, but I'm sure that my skin turned red in that moment. I sat patiently, waiting for this man to rummage through my bag. I wanted to reach in and throw tampons at him to make him uncomfortable, but I didn't. I sat there, seemingly calm, and waited for him to pull out my tube of toothpaste. 

He threw the toothpaste away and left me with a rummaged little blue to put back together. I didn't have time to worry about that man. I put little blue back together and booked it to my gate. I was yet again in the Airport Olympics. Dodging, weaving, and possibly pushing people out of the way. Passengers were boarding, and I had little to no time to make it. I'm talking to God like "G..please, PLEASE, I need to get out of New York...you know I'll die here....PLEASE".

I finally made it to my gate, sweating, out of breath, tears on the verge of breaking the barrier, only to find that MY FLIGHT HAS BEEN DELAYED. So I ran, pushed, stomped and shoved for no reason. "I mean...this wasn't what I had in mind, but thanks G." Life is funny.

When I boarded that flight, I made a promise to myself...I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT RAT INFESTED, BAD-LUCK CONJURING, DISRESPECTFUL-ASS CITY! I made it back to North Carolina in one piece (barely), and cried in rejoice for making it back to this simpleton-ass place. Thanks G!

Long story short, y'all can have New York and all of its mess. I don't want it. I don't want anything to do with it. I will chase my dreams from the comfort of my simpleton home. Thanks!

What city are you never going back to? Tell me about your story in the comments below!

Happy Wandering............except to NY.......

New York: The City of NEVER GOING BACK pt. 2

Well I've had enough of you ask me to finish the story that I brought my sorry behind back to let you all know what happened after life brutally laughed in my face. If you last recall, I'm standing in the middle of the United Nations, after 3 days of hell, to find out that there was a BIG OL lunch break scheduled from 1pm-3pm. It was currently 1:03pm and 3pm also happened to be the time I needed to head out to catch my flight. So a full flight, Airbnb, stress and panic for....no reason. YUP!

If you have no idea what I'm talking out, and haven't checked out the first part to this three-part series, click here to get caught up!

So, all I can do is laugh. I look at my friend and bust out laughing. She's visibly irritated, but how can you not laugh at the irony? There's no way I can make this life of mine up. I mean, it's real, it's happening. So being my optimistic self I repeat my mantra to myself, "everything happens for a reason". Now, whenever I say this mantra, I try to come up with reasons that the Universe, God, and any and all other energies came to the conclusion that this needed to happen. 

Me to myself: Well...maybe if you would've attended a conference you would've died
Myself to me: No....these other people didn't die sooooo.....
Me to myself: Right, right, well...maybe there was no one here of value to you
Myself to me: Really? Do you know where you are right now? It's the UN! What're you even saying?
Me to Myself: Right, right, well...it wasn't meant for you. Can we live with that?
Myself to me: *eye roll* fine. We'll live.

So I decided I would live with it, it wasn't meant for me, and that was ok...I GUESS. As my friend and I walked out of the building, I took one last look at what was once my dream...it wasn't that great anyways. Y'all know I'm lying, it was everything and so much more, but I digress.

We get on the bus back towards our luggage drop-off location to pick up our bags. My friend is nervous about riding the metro without getting lost, but I reassure her that she'll be fine. I show her how to utilize Google Maps and send her on her way. Her confidence in me made me believe I was some kind of pro, and off to the airport I went!

Let me back up a little here and give you all some context. When I first arrived in New York, I flew into Newark. To get from Newark to NYC, you can buy a cheap train ticket to NYC, and if you're really trying to save money, you can buy a round-trip train ticket. So y'all k now what I did right? I bought that damn round-trip ticket! Problem is, as I'm standing at this luggage-drop-off location, I'm thinking to myself: How the hell do I get back to that train? 

I did what any sane person would do, I asked the store owner (to no avail), random people on the street (to no avail), and finally I asked Google. Somehow I ended up at Grand Central. It didn't look familiar, but I followed some signs that had trains on them. When I finally showed an attendant my round-trip ticket, I was informed that none of the trains at Grand Central took you to Newark. SHOCK.

I freaked out a bit, calmed down, and found a bus that departed every 15 minutes to Newark for $20. I'm blown, but it's cool, I was still on track to catch my flight. 

PRO TIP: When travelling, make sure to always include buffer time in your departure!

I waited 15 minutes...no bus....20 minutes....no bus....30 minutes....you guessed it! NO BUS! I didn't know what to do, but during the time I was waiting for the bus, I finally discovered that my train to Newark leaves from Penn Station! I run to catch a metro to Penn Station (only to find out I don't have enough money on my MetroCard). I'm now forced to put money on a MetroCard I'm fairly certain I'll never use again because F*** NEW YORK! 

I make it to Penn Station, and it is a literal zoo. No, no, a zoo is too contained. This shit was a damn Safari, you know, where the animals run wild, and you can literally get eaten by a lion? Yeah. This was a SAFARI. So I'm looking around in amazement, admiring all the animals, hoping none of them bite me. I quickly snap out of it and hit a dash to the train station. It wasn't actually a dash, but more of a push-get pushed back-push more forcefully through-type of situation. The reason for the crazy amount of people: y'all remember that crazy blizzard that cancelled the conference? Well guess what? It also cancelled all the trains. So all the people who missed their trains yesterday were now at Penn Station trying to find a way home. Just my luck.

My rolling suitcase was doing pretty well, I couldn't complain. She stuck by me through it all. I can't say that was the case for everyone at Penn that day. When I finally reach the train booth, I show the man my round-trip ticket and he tells me that I'm in the right place HALLELUJAH! This is the first sign of good news since I'd arrived in that God-forsaken city. He told me that my train was leaving in 2 minutes, and the next train to Newark Airport wouldn't be back until 9pm. Mind you my flight leaves at 8pm, I HAVE to make this train. Remember...there is a Safari, and now I have to run through the giraffes, monkeys, lions, tigers, and bears (shoutout Jazmine Sullivan) to catch my train.

When I tell y'all that I literally picked up little blue (my rolling suitcase) and stormed through the damn Safari. Have any of you ever seen the move 300 where the main character yells "THIS IS SPARTA!!!" 

Me...running to catch my train

Yup! That's pretty much me, running through the Safari, carrying little blue over my head, waves of people pushing against me. I run up to the train literally sweating from my adventure. It feel like I've just ran a marathon, given birth, taken over the world, your pick. Point is, I've made it on the train! I'm gonna make it to my flight! Right? I sit down, sweating, panting, and ask the lady next to me, "Hey, this train goes to Newark Airport right?". She stares into my defeated eyes, looks at my furrowed brow, my sweat stains and says, "I'm sorry, I don't think so." I wanted to cry. 

Do I ever make it home? Do I kill this lady? Do I give up my life and become homeless? Find out next time on....DragonBa.....no, that's not it. Find out next time on...THE WANDERLUSTWAD CHRONICLES!

Let me know if you want to hear the rest in the comments below!

Happy Wandering...

New York: The City of NEVER GOING BACK

Hey Y'all!

G'day wanderers! I've missed you lovelies, but I needed to come back to share a story with you all. We all know about New York, "The City of Dreams" where "The Big Apple" resides. Youngsters move there from far and wide to pursue dreams, job opportunities, and live their best lives. Me? I went there starry-eyed and in pursuit of my dreams for a United Nations conference. But you didn't click this to learn about some boring conference, you clicked this to learn how my dreams were crushed, squashed, and pulverized right before they were obliterated. Dramatic much? Possibly, but bear with me. 

Before New York...

I found out about this conference promptly 3 days before the actual date. This meant I had 3 days to find a flight, a place to stay, and mentally prepare to represent an organization I knew little about. My checklist soon read: Flight: ✓ , Airbnb: ✓ , Mentally Prepared: TBD. 

All that was left to do was pack, but I decided I needed a break. Fast forward a couple hours to being passed out on my couch from exhaustion. I woke up frantic as I only had two hours to pack and get ready for my red-eye flight to New York. Imagine my shock when I found out that on this day (at approximately 2am) the time changed! It was daylights savings time ladies and gentlemen, and my frantic state turned into a full on panic. I had one hour to pack clothes, get ready and get to the airport on time. BISHHHH DID YOU MAKE IT??

Barely y'all, I barely made it, but by the grace of God himself, I found myself on this flight. After arriving in NY at 7am, I see a message from my Airbnb host (in Brooklyn) saying that I need to pick up the key to the apartment at 3pm in Manhattan. So I have to lug my bags around Manhattan for 8 hours. It's fine, no big deal. I made it to NY without missing my flight, and this is a great opportunity to network, I'm just going to make the best of it. So I did!

In New York...

3pm rolls around, no sign of host, 3:15...3:30....3:45...... This man doesn't show up until 4pm. I'm pissed and starving at this point, but figure I will find some real food once I get settled in. I arrive at the Airbnb, and see a couple that looks familiar. We realize that we are headed to the same Airbnb, but staying in different rooms. I walk into my room to see nothing but filth and used bed sheets y'all. FILTH AND USED BED SHEETS. I go see what the couple's room looks like, but before I can reach them I hear the girlfriend raging (at this point I know I'm not alone). 

We decide to cancel our booking, call Airbnb to make a formal complaint, and book another Airbnb together to save on costs. We finally arrive at our new Airbnb around 7pm and I am famished. Instead of heading out into the cold with my sorry excuse of a jacket, I decided to order something from GrubHub and rest for the night to start my conference the next day on a positive note. HAHA, I'm so naive. Positivity? What's that?

I order from GrubHub at 8pm with an anticipated hour wait. 9pm rolls around, no sign of food, 9:30...10pm....10:30. After many calls and many empty promises of food, I fell asleep. Do y'all believe that around 11pm the delivery driver calls me to tell me he's outside. It took every ounce of my being not to curse him smooth TF out. I told him to go on with his food, I was in bed for the night (in retrospect, I see that my anger and petty left me hungry still...I'm working on myself, ok?). 

Day 1/3 of the Conference

So I woke up the next morning going on almost 24 hours without food, starving AF and cold. So, flashback to me taking all of my winter clothes back to my parents house and picking up my spring clothes because North Carolina (where I live) had some promising weather. I left a light jacket here and there, but nothing heavy duty. Fast forward to me in NY with a light jacket in 20 degree weather. I was freezing. When I woke up in the morning, I decided the first order of business was to invest in a jacket (that I would promptly return upon leaving NY because financial responsibility DUUHHH). Although I had a friend to pick up from the bus station (as she was joining me for the conference), I assumed I would get a jacket to refrain from frostbite, get some food and head to the conference to begin my sessions before picking her up. 

I got a jacket! I got some food! All was going well for the day until I realized I had some papers to print out to gain access to the UN Headquarters. Do y'all know how expensive it is to print something out in NY man? I went to a FedEx and to use the computer was $2/minute plus a printing fee. I was shook. Who pays these prices? THOSE SCAMMERS! By the time I went on this adventure, I had exactly enough time to get on the metro and reach not the conference, but my friend at the bus stop. The day was over. I spent my day riding metros, getting lost, printing expensive papers, and trying to stay positive (HAHA! POSITIVITY? WHAT'S THAT?)

Day 2/3 of the Conference

I woke up the next day, friend in hand, ready to take on the new day...this time with a partner in crime! I had forgotten my woes from the past two days, had a couple great laughs, and woke up with a smile on my face. I pull back the curtain to find A F***ING BLIZZARD. The conference was cancelled for the day. It's ok, we'll wake up the next day and try it all over again. HAHA, there I go with that positivity shit.

Day 3/3 of the Conference

On this day, we needed to check out of our Airbnb, meaning that we had to take all of our luggage with us. Here's the thing, the United Nations does not allow luggage into the premise for security reasons, so now we need to find a place to keep our luggage. Furthermore, my friend accidentally took a pair of car keys that she needed to overnight back to Virginia. So, we began our adventure lugging our suitcases through New York to a luggage dropoff zone in Manhattan, dropped off the keys, hit a couple of road blocks (i.e. missed bus, wrong metro time, soaked socks from the snow on the ground, etc.), but we finally made it to the United Nations. 

We arrive at the main building, show our papers (that cost an arm and a leg to print), and get directed to another building a couple blocks away. We reach that building, show our papers, and get directed to another building in the same direction we just came from. So we're playing hide and go seek with the damn conference at this point. After about an hour, we get find the correct building, get our badges made and FINALLY enter the United Nations Headquarters.

There I am, at the United Nations, with a jacket I'll soon be returning, a smile thats an inch away from a cry, and ready to get all my dreams crushed.

After taking some pictures, looking around, and taking in the pure beauty that is that building, we picked up a program to see what workshops we could partake in. Since it was already 1pm, we knew we only had a couple hours to spare before needing to retrieve our luggage before we needed to be on the road for our bus and flight respectively. A good look at the program showed that right there, between 1pm and 3pm was a scheduled LUNCH period. 

I could honestly do nothing but laugh. It was purely comical. I came all this way, wasted all this time, and all this money to go to the United Nations for a conference that I never even attended. BAHAHAHA, life is hilarious!

I wish I could say that was the end of my New York adventure, but lo and behold life always has plans of its own for you. If you're interested in what happens next, let me know in the comments below and I'll make a follow-up post!

WHAT CITY ARE YOU NEVER GOING BACK TO? Also let me know in the comments below!!!

And as always....

Happy Wandering....