New York: The City of NEVER GOING BACK pt. 2

Well I've had enough of you ask me to finish the story that I brought my sorry behind back to let you all know what happened after life brutally laughed in my face. If you last recall, I'm standing in the middle of the United Nations, after 3 days of hell, to find out that there was a BIG OL lunch break scheduled from 1pm-3pm. It was currently 1:03pm and 3pm also happened to be the time I needed to head out to catch my flight. So a full flight, Airbnb, stress and panic for....no reason. YUP!

If you have no idea what I'm talking out, and haven't checked out the first part to this three-part series, click here to get caught up!

So, all I can do is laugh. I look at my friend and bust out laughing. She's visibly irritated, but how can you not laugh at the irony? There's no way I can make this life of mine up. I mean, it's real, it's happening. So being my optimistic self I repeat my mantra to myself, "everything happens for a reason". Now, whenever I say this mantra, I try to come up with reasons that the Universe, God, and any and all other energies came to the conclusion that this needed to happen. 

Me to myself: Well...maybe if you would've attended a conference you would've died
Myself to me: No....these other people didn't die sooooo.....
Me to myself: Right, right, well...maybe there was no one here of value to you
Myself to me: Really? Do you know where you are right now? It's the UN! What're you even saying?
Me to Myself: Right, right, well...it wasn't meant for you. Can we live with that?
Myself to me: *eye roll* fine. We'll live.

So I decided I would live with it, it wasn't meant for me, and that was ok...I GUESS. As my friend and I walked out of the building, I took one last look at what was once my dream...it wasn't that great anyways. Y'all know I'm lying, it was everything and so much more, but I digress.

We get on the bus back towards our luggage drop-off location to pick up our bags. My friend is nervous about riding the metro without getting lost, but I reassure her that she'll be fine. I show her how to utilize Google Maps and send her on her way. Her confidence in me made me believe I was some kind of pro, and off to the airport I went!

Let me back up a little here and give you all some context. When I first arrived in New York, I flew into Newark. To get from Newark to NYC, you can buy a cheap train ticket to NYC, and if you're really trying to save money, you can buy a round-trip train ticket. So y'all k now what I did right? I bought that damn round-trip ticket! Problem is, as I'm standing at this luggage-drop-off location, I'm thinking to myself: How the hell do I get back to that train? 

I did what any sane person would do, I asked the store owner (to no avail), random people on the street (to no avail), and finally I asked Google. Somehow I ended up at Grand Central. It didn't look familiar, but I followed some signs that had trains on them. When I finally showed an attendant my round-trip ticket, I was informed that none of the trains at Grand Central took you to Newark. SHOCK.

I freaked out a bit, calmed down, and found a bus that departed every 15 minutes to Newark for $20. I'm blown, but it's cool, I was still on track to catch my flight. 

PRO TIP: When travelling, make sure to always include buffer time in your departure!

I waited 15 minutes...no bus....20 minutes....no bus....30 minutes....you guessed it! NO BUS! I didn't know what to do, but during the time I was waiting for the bus, I finally discovered that my train to Newark leaves from Penn Station! I run to catch a metro to Penn Station (only to find out I don't have enough money on my MetroCard). I'm now forced to put money on a MetroCard I'm fairly certain I'll never use again because F*** NEW YORK! 

I make it to Penn Station, and it is a literal zoo. No, no, a zoo is too contained. This shit was a damn Safari, you know, where the animals run wild, and you can literally get eaten by a lion? Yeah. This was a SAFARI. So I'm looking around in amazement, admiring all the animals, hoping none of them bite me. I quickly snap out of it and hit a dash to the train station. It wasn't actually a dash, but more of a push-get pushed back-push more forcefully through-type of situation. The reason for the crazy amount of people: y'all remember that crazy blizzard that cancelled the conference? Well guess what? It also cancelled all the trains. So all the people who missed their trains yesterday were now at Penn Station trying to find a way home. Just my luck.

My rolling suitcase was doing pretty well, I couldn't complain. She stuck by me through it all. I can't say that was the case for everyone at Penn that day. When I finally reach the train booth, I show the man my round-trip ticket and he tells me that I'm in the right place HALLELUJAH! This is the first sign of good news since I'd arrived in that God-forsaken city. He told me that my train was leaving in 2 minutes, and the next train to Newark Airport wouldn't be back until 9pm. Mind you my flight leaves at 8pm, I HAVE to make this train. Remember...there is a Safari, and now I have to run through the giraffes, monkeys, lions, tigers, and bears (shoutout Jazmine Sullivan) to catch my train.

When I tell y'all that I literally picked up little blue (my rolling suitcase) and stormed through the damn Safari. Have any of you ever seen the move 300 where the main character yells "THIS IS SPARTA!!!" 

Me...running to catch my train

Yup! That's pretty much me, running through the Safari, carrying little blue over my head, waves of people pushing against me. I run up to the train literally sweating from my adventure. It feel like I've just ran a marathon, given birth, taken over the world, your pick. Point is, I've made it on the train! I'm gonna make it to my flight! Right? I sit down, sweating, panting, and ask the lady next to me, "Hey, this train goes to Newark Airport right?". She stares into my defeated eyes, looks at my furrowed brow, my sweat stains and says, "I'm sorry, I don't think so." I wanted to cry. 

Do I ever make it home? Do I kill this lady? Do I give up my life and become homeless? Find out next time on....DragonBa.....no, that's not it. Find out next time on...THE WANDERLUSTWAD CHRONICLES!

Let me know if you want to hear the rest in the comments below!

Happy Wandering...

The Beauty of Being Lost

At seven years old I concluded that my brother was dead. Mortified, I watched as my father came crashing to the ground with tears in his eyes. We had lost my brother at Virginia Beach. None of us had any idea where he disappeared to. After frantically searching the strip and having lifeguards check all throughout the ocean, after filing a report with the police and watching my mother losing her mind, I had no doubts that he was somewhere lifeless.

Meanwhile, the little twerp, Lofy, was in some ice cream shop happily licking the last bits of his cone. After having spent a good hour and a half walking the beach, he decided it might be a good idea to find a police officer. What always got me about Lofy's escapade was the fact that he wandered aimlessly for such a long time before he asked for help. It wasn't until an hour and a half later that he felt like he needed some direction.  It didn't even affect him that he had no idea where anyone was or in which direction he was headed. See, even at a young age my brother knew the beauty of being lost. While most kids would cry at the thought of separation from their family, this kid just kept going. And although he gave us all a heart attack and just about ruined our family trip, his insight was inspirational. 

Most of us freak out at the thought of being lost or not having any direction. Whether that be manifested in our daily life or as we're on a road trip, the unknown is scary, and we don't like it! So why is that? What about the unknown makes it so scary? And why do we make it so hard to enjoy? I can't answer all of these questions, but I do know why I am scared of the unknown, and how I was able to overcome my fear to see how eye-opening an experience it can really be.  

I've always been scared of the dark which I think is symbolic of what being lost is; moving aimlessly with your hands out trying to stop yourself from running into something or someone, and making sure you don't get hurt. Our human instinct is to keep ourself safe, and the easiest way to do that is when we can SEE where we are going. Not having that insight into which direction we are headed, or what our final destination is, makes it difficult to make sound decisions.

This is part of the reason that being in your early 20's is horrific as hell. You're looking for some sort of direction, possibly frantically searching for it, and always coming up short. Always feeling like this might not be the way and choosing a different path. You're continuously searching for the police officer to let you know where to go until you realize that you have to be your own sheriff. You have to be the captain of your ship and the driver of your car and boy is it frightening. Being boldly thrusted into adulthood is draining and leaves you frazzled. 

I like to think of myself as an adult. Ok, total lie, I really would like to think of myself as a kid so that I could get rid of my responsibilities, but I'm unfortunately an adult now. As such, I enjoy plans. I can't do the whole "see you around 8" ordeal. What does that mean? 8:15? 8:45? 8:01? Am I really supposed to wait around for an hour to possibly see you? Give me a time!

For me, everything needs a plan. Driving to D.C.? How am I getting there? Where am I staying? What am I going to do there? I just like to be prepared. And more than anything, I like to be in the know. Although I am able to go with the flow, I much prefer to have things worked out. That doesn't mean these plans are scheduled way in advance, just that my affairs are in order. I have no problem jumping on the next flight out, as long as I have a place to lay my head. Even if merely hours before the trip, a plan is still a plan. Getting lost is never in the plan, and that used to be an issue for me. 

How did I make it a non-issue? I traveled. I went out and I saw the world and all that it offered. It was out in the world that I discovered that life has no structure. Things happen at their own time and move at their own pace. I came to realize that the cliché "everything happens for a reason" is remarkably true. All of my time being lost has had some sort of divine consequence that I may not even be aware of yet. Bear with me as I try to explain.

I believe that when you ask for something, life is not one to just give it to you, but to put you in circumstances in which you can gain what you've asked for. It is then your duty to take the proper steps into making your wishes come true. It's like when you ask for patience and you're given a long line at the bank. Welcome to "patience". Sometimes, the opportunities we ask for aren't presented to us in the way we want them, but that doesn't mean they're not presented. I've asked multiple times for patience myself, as well as cultural awareness, and aide in being continuously grateful. Each time I get lost, I believe that it's another opportunity life is giving me so that I may receive one of these things, if not another, that I've asked for. I try to take it as a learning experience. What better way to learn to be grateful than to suddenly find yourself in the slums of Istanbul? Sure, I was headed to a café to meet a friend, and I was undoubtedly going to be late, but that hour I spent walking around trying to find my way, I saw indescribable appearances and situations. Once I finally reached my destination, I drank my coffee voluptuously, knowing how sweet my "misfortune" was in comparison to so many. Gratitude.

I know what I do about the world because of the millions of times I've been lost. In the millions of places that it's happened. I've learned a lot. Because of the hundreds of times I didn't know where I was going or who was going with me. I didn't know who would meet me on the other side, or what events would present themselves. I was scared and I was lonely, but all of those fears manifested themselves into opportunities. Opportunities for growth and for self-knowledge. I've gotten to know myself more, and really discover what I'm made of. Who I am, and what I can and wont do. 

So get lost. Literally, walk out and roam. Turn off your GPS, and know that it's ok. You'll be fine. Trust in yourself and believe in your instincts my lovely wanderer, for you were born to be wild. Life is scary, but there is no cheat code, and your plans will all go awry....because life! Prepare for the unexpected, and learn to roll with the punches. Understand how beautiful it can be to live in the dark, if even for a short period of time. That's why I admired Lofy so much that day at the beach, because even though he was merely seven, he came to understand what it took me twenty-two years to figure out. The beauty of being lost. And you never know, while you're busy being lost, you might end up finding yourself.

Happy Wandering...

10 Ways To Discover A New City

Being in a new city can be daunting. Visiting, just moved or passing through somewhere new?

Here are some tips I've collected throughout my travels to help me get the most out of each place I wander into, no matter how short or long the stay.

1. Walk
Though not all cities are walkable, there are many that are, and if you happen to be in one then that is exactly what you should be doing. Walk down the streets, around the corners, walk everywhere. Besides it being a great form of exercise, which you will undoubtedly need after all the amazing food you'll want to try, it's a great way to discover a new city. The only way to find those unforgettable hole-in-the-wall's is by walking.

2. Public Transportation
As noted, not all places are easy to walk, if this is the case, then utilize the public transportation system. Even in times when you can walk around, realize that you can only walk but so far. Taxi's are for chumps! Do you want to be a chump? Didn't think so. Now get on that train, tram, bus, subway, metro, whatever. To really uncover the gems of a new place, you must live as the people there live, and unless they have "racks on racks" as my friends would say, they're most likely using one of these forms of transportation. 

3. Talk to Locals
They live in the place for goodness sakes, so who would know the place better? In most places they are more than happy to lend a helping hand. Unless you're in France...sorry Frenchies, your reputation precedes you. (Although in my short 12 hours there, I found one very kind man who was the greatest.) Locals have almost always pointed me in the right direction. Make sure you ask them to tell you where they would go, not where they think you would want to go. You don't want to go to the tourist spots, get a genuine feel of this new place!

4. Get Lost
Today in Turkey, I got extremely lost. Had no idea where I was, and I had the best day ever! Getting lost is beautiful. Sure scary, but oh so wonderful. You come across things you normally wouldn't and are pleasantly surprised by all that you do. Get lost, make the wrong turn, figure it out. Your adventure is awaiting in your confusion. Suppress your need to ask for directions and try to go with the flow. You will appreciate it in the long run. 

5. TripAdvisor/Lonely Planet
No one goes to China and doesn't want to see the Great Wall of China. You don't go to France and not see the Eiffel Tower. It's a part of the experience. For these reasons, I would use TripAdvisor/Lonely Planet. See what is worth your time, and what isn't exactly your cup of tea. Sometimes you don't know what the great things to do are, and this will give you the most touristy of touristy things to see and do. Not a bad idea because at the end of the day, no matter how hard you try, you still kinda are a tourist. Sorry love! Experience the Hagia Sophia and the Taj Mahal with the other tourists before going upon your own route.

6. Tourist Traps
You will undoubtedly get caught in one. It's going to happen. Don't run from it, just take it in. Learn from it and then never get caught again. You will pay too much for a cab before knowing how the metro works, you will pay $10 for a jacket and think it's a steal, until you discover you could have gotten it for $5. It's ok, roll with the punches my friend, just make sure you are learning from them.

7. Get Out
Don't stay locked up in your hostel/hotel attached to your computer/phone and ravaging for WiFi. Yes you might miss home, and you're you, so home definitely misses you, but don't waste your time trying to not miss out. In your FOMO anxiety, you will miss out on what's right in front of you. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. will all be exactly where you left them when you return. Someone will post about their pregnancy, another about an engagement, a marriage, a breakup, a hook-up. Do you really care? Go somewhere! Do something! Don't let FOMO hold you back! This city needs discovering! 

8. Learn the Language
Locals are so much more receptive when they see you trying. They will laugh at your attempts, but internally they will be so pleased that you're trying. Learning the language doesn't necessarily mean you have to take a course. Learn the basics: please, thank you, hello, goodbye, bathroom (that one is important). What better way to immerse yourself in the culture than to slowly figure out what the heck everyone is saying.

9. Find a Friend
They are everywhere! In your hostel, on the streets, at the cafe you like to frequent, there are people waiting to be your friend. Who wouldn't want to be? It's you for crying out loud. Friends can help you get out, can teach you new things and show you all the places they've already discovered. Bond over your love of the city, your hate of the city, whatever! You don't know it all, so find someone who can teach you some things, and who you can enlighten. Discover the city together.

10. Enjoy!
The best way to discover a new city is to enjoy it. No matter the turns and tumbles life hands you, have a great time. The whole reason you're in this new place is to enjoy, so don't deny yourself this wonder. Walk around and enjoy, get on a tram and enjoy, find friends and enjoy, meet locals and enjoy. You get to be somewhere new, even if for a little while, so smile fellow wanderer. The city is welcoming you, so welcome it back!

Hope these tips will help you to get out and discover your newest adventure!

What other tips do you have for learning about a new place? Let me know in the comments below!

Happy Wandering...