The BadAss Who Dodged Airport Security

What's the worst part of going to the airport? AIRPORT SECURITY. You have to wait, and wait....and then wait some more. You finally get to the security belt and realize you have to strip naked in front of strangers. No Coats! No Shoes! No Belts! No Wallets! No Spare Change! For goodness sakes, if you want to see me naked just ask! We don't need to go through these formalities. 

Well one badass found a way to dodge airport security. Who was this wonderful woman? ME! Twas I. I am the badass. So, I'm sure you have many questions as to how I made this possible, hoping that one day, you too, could become a badass like me. Well, let me tell you, it's not easy. Also kids, don't try this at home, it's dangerous. But you know, badasses like me don't fear danger.

HOW IT HAPPENED:

I was in Sudan waiting at Gate 2 to board the plane. As they started calling up groups to board, I realized that I didn't have my iPod. I had a 4 hour flight to Turkey and an 8 hour layover before taking a 10 hour flight back to Washington, D.C. How was I going to survive without any music? I couldn't! There was no way. It was impossible. My iPod was at my aunts house, and she lived 10 minutes away from the airport. "I CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN", I thought to myself. I called my cousin who initially dropped me off and begged him to find my iPod and bring it to the airport.

The way the main airport in Sudan works is that unless you're actually flying out, you aren't allowed to go inside. Consequently, there is a mob of people standing outside the airport wishing their loved ones farewell. I was concerned about time, but when my cousin texted me minutes later saying he found the iPod and that he was on the way to the airport, I knew I had a chance to save myself from complete and utter boredom. All I had to do was find a way to run from Gate 2 to the entrance of the airport and back without getting stopped in about 2 minutes. 

The announcements called for group 4 to board the plane. Group 4 was the last to board this flight, and I was on group 4. Simultaneously, my cousin was outside waiting for me. The time was now or never. I had a decision to make, and I decided to choose the iPod. I was literally willing to risk missing this flight back to the United States for my iPod. Could you all last 22 hours with no form of entertainment? I didn't think so. This decision was justified. 

I picked up my bag and booked it! I ran through security, customs, and ticketing, stopping for no one. The security guard began to chase me at one point, but gave up once I reached customs, probably assuming someone down the line would catch me (welcome to Sudan). As I reached the entrance door, I saw my cousin reaching for me with an iPod in hand. I grabbed it, pivoted, and turned around to race back to Gate 2. On the way there, I held my hands up in victory, waving my prized possession at the customs official, at the security guard, and at the empty lobby at Gate 2. 

On that day, I was the last person to board the plane, but the first person to run through security, customs, and ticketing without officially getting stopped. As I sat in my chair, sweaty, tired, and victorious, I fell into a deep slumber. The running wore me out! I'm in no shape to be running like that! 

I woke up in Turkey 4 hours later with iPod in hand and headphones missing. Life is funny that way. The moral of the story is, be a badass, you actually might get away with it. Just remember that life is also a circle, so it always catches up with you!

What badass things have you done? Did you get away with it? Did life catch up with you? Let me know in the comments below! And as always..

Happy Wandering...

I Refuse to Fly

I refuse to fly. Wait, you're WanderlustWad! What do you mean? Oh, I'm sorry, was I not clear? What I meant to say was I'm not flying anymore. I've had a horrible experience, and I've made a final decision. What horrible experience?

So glad you asked!

I was recently in Sudan for my cousin's wedding, and what a fancy shmancy soiree it was. She looked lovely, it was lovely, I wore a ball gown, I posed next to a vintage Rolls Royce, everything I expected and so much more. Ok, I wasn't expecting the Rolls Royce, but what a plus!

In my ball gown posing next to the vintage Rolls Royce. Shoutout cuzzo for providing the car, the pose, and the awkward smile!

I'm currently in graduate school and took a week off to attend this wedding. This was a big decision because it's my first year of grad school, I honestly have no idea what's going on in my program, I've just moved to a whole new state where I know no one, and I'm dealing with imposter syndrome. Needless to say, I decided I was going to swing it! My cousin wanted me to be there, I wanted to be there, and this meant a lot to my family. So I took the risk, hoping that a sufficient plan would rid me of any mishaps. As you can tell by the title of this blog post...I was mistaken.

I meticulously planned my flights. I picked a flight leaving on a Friday and returning the following Sunday around 2 p.m. This was going to give me just enough time to come home, decompress, possibly unpack (ha, yeah right...but I was optimistic), and prepare to get back in the swing of things at grad school. I was going to figure out what I missed, get notes for those classes, and hit the ground running. I had this all planned out. I was ready. I was prepared. I was confident in my planning. What a sham.

The week started out great! I saw my haboba (grandma in Arabic), I visited relatives, I attended the wedding, danced my little tail off, and had a ball. It was when I was attempting to head back to the United States that things slowly started to unravel.

Haboba showing me all the love

I just finished saying bye to my grandma, and my parents and younger brother Lofy were taking me back home to finish packing my bags before dropping me at the airport. I insisted we stop at Tweety (a fresh juice bar) so I could get a "nus darba". For all those unaware, "nus darba" is the most delicious fruit salad you'll ever taste. Made with all fresh fruit and ingredients (as most things in Sudan are), this is a must if/when you visit Sudan. As my dad made his way to Tweety, my mom began fussing about missing my flight. I literally laughed. I had ran through security at the airport in Sudan before, I was completely unconcerned about "missing a flight", and we had ample time. If you know my mom, she's a bit dramatic, and so to Tweety we went. 

It took me possibly 15 minutes to shove all my clothes in my suitcase and head out the door to begin my journey to the airport. I got to the airport an hour and a half before takeoff. An hour and a half. Just to be clear, that's almost two hours before takeoff. As I make my way to the Ethiopian Airlines stand and begin to wait in line to check my luggage, the middle-aged woman in front of me begins to argue with the attendant. Everyone in Sudan argues, so I paid them no mind until I heard the attendant tell this woman that "the scale is closed". 

The woman had tears in her eyes, was explaining to the attendant that she had four kids, and this was her second day missing this flight. My eyes almost bulged out of my face. I rudely interrupted their conversation to ask what exactly a "closed scale" means. The man behind this counter looked me dead in my eyes and told me that it means I can't get on the plane. Now if you know me, and if you know Sudan, you know that I used every tactic I knew to finesse this process. I asked to speak to a supervisor, then a manager, I asked him how much money it would take to get on the flight. I HAD A PLAN. I needed to be on this plane. Everyone in Sudan takes bribes, but this man was not having it. I was at the airport an hour and a half early, and this man was truly playing with me. How is the scale closed? I didn't understand. Honestly, I still don't.

I eventually told him that since the scale was closed I would leave my luggage. I just needed my person to be on the next plane out of Sudan, so that I could make it back to America on time. I couldn't miss any more school, I was already falling behind, and I had a plan. He was so sick of me. He said no. I spoke to his supervisors and managers who also said no. I was fed up. Fuck Ethiopian Airlines!

When I finally came to accept that I wasn't leaving Sudan, and that my plan was ruined, I had to figure out my next steps. The lovely attendant (heavy eye roll) told me to go around the back of building where I would see the Ethiopian Airlines offices. They would be able to help me there. When I finally found these offices, thanks to the help of no signs or knowledgeable airport personnel, I was told that the staff was out. Where were they? They were busy checking people into the airplane that I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON. You want to talk about livid, I was on the border of bursting.

After waiting for my flight to leave me (oh, the irony, I had a MF plan), the Ethiopian Airlines personnel decided to come back to their offices only to tell me that they couldn't help me. Their office didn't handle missed flights and I needed to go to their headquarters the next morning to rebook. IF YOU COULDN'T HELP ME THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE ME WAITING AROUND FOR YOU! These pricks y'all. THESE PRICKS!

So of course I had to hear my mother's mouth the whole time about how I should have listened to her, how we could have gotten there earlier, and her annoying "I told you so" eyes. Ugh. It killed me.

You want to know what's worse than missing a flight you meticulously planned to no fault of your own? When your mom is right and gives you "I told you so" eyes. UUUUGGGHHHHH. THOSE EYES. THE WORST.

The next day, I woke up at the crack of dawn, and headed to the Ethiopian Airlines headquarters. Much to my surprise, I was not the only one who encountered this. There was at least 11 other individuals (including the woman with her four kids from the previous day) who had "missed" their flight. What we came to find out is that the airline is overbooking their flights, and when enough people have checked in to fill the plane, they "close the scales". PRICKS!

Even at this headquarters, they refused to help a majority of us rebook without purchasing a whole new ticket because our original tickets were bought from travel agents or companies. My mind was so blown. The lovely Ethiopian Airlines attendant (eye roll) behind this desk at this headquarters was telling me that she couldn't help me with my ETHIOPIAN AIRLINES ticket? Does this make sense to anyone? Anyone at all? 

After ANOTHER trip, this time to the travel agency the ticket was booked from, I finally had a ticket sending my black ass back to the United States. All to go to a Master's program that scares the crap out of me, to a state where I know no one, and to a school that had me feeling like an imposter. I was drained. 

So I made a decision. I'm not flying anymore! At least not Ethiopian Airlines, those..you guessed it..PRICKS! 

But while you're out wandering for the both of us...

Happy Wandering...

Have you ever experienced such inconsistency? Ever dealt with imposter syndrome? Ever planned and your plans fell through? What happened? Let me know in the comments below!