This couldn’t have come as a surprise to too many people, right? I mean I spend almost half of my time out of the country anyway. I love to travel abroad, take on new adventures, and make traveling accessible to those may not have known how to make it so. It makes absolute sense for me to move out of the country, RIGHT?? This couldn’t be shocking, right? So, who’s the most shocked person to realize they’re moving out of the country? ME.
When I tell people I’m moving out of the United States (and I haven’t told many people), there’s always a list of questions that start as follows:
What??? Girl, where you going?
Why you leaving?
When you leaving/coming back?
Why you aint tell noone? Damn!
I’ll attempt to answer these questions here. Bear with me though, it’s currently 4 a.m. and I’m writing this blog post on adrenaline alone. Mostly fear-based adrenaline, but we’ll get there soon enough. *grimaces heavily*
What??? Girl, where you going?
SURPRISE…I’m moving to Malaysia! Where is Malaysia? Hell if I know. I’m just moving there, nothing serious. Malaysia is located in Southeast Asia and is close to countries like Thailand, Singapore, Indonesia, and Vietnam. With a predominately Muslim population, my mom is banking on me coming back with a husband. I think it’s clear she’s SICK OF MY SHIT. LOL! Malaysia is a megadiverse country with a mix of Malay, Chinese, and Indian cultural influences. I already know the food ready to be popping. Let me know if you’re trying to come eat, I’m accepting guests!
Why you leaving?
Well….I WON A FULBRIGHT SCHOLARSHIP! Way to bury the lead, right? LOL I’m going to try to talk about this a little more in-depth, per my friends’ death stares and glances when I say “I just got a scholarship”. HERE I AM CELEBRATING MYSELF Y’ALL…see??? So for those of you who don’t know, a Fulbright is a Cultural Exchange Program funded by the Department of State in efforts to improve intercultural relations, diplomacy, and competence between U.S. citizens and other countries. Some call it ~presitgious~, I don’t know what that means. Either way, I feel very blessed to be part of a chosen few to discover a new country for an extended period of time…on the government’s dime OKUUURT!
When you leaving/coming back?
So…the exchange officially begins in January, but I leave mid-December. I’ll be in Malaysia for about a year. Once I leave, I’m not allowed to come back into the United States per the Fulbright contract. So, I’m really leaving, leaving y’all. For a whole damn year. Wish me luck!
Why you aint tell noone? Damn!
This one is probably the most difficult to answer. I guess I-I’m scared. I didn’t want to believe I was actually leaving, so I’ve ignored it for the past 8 months or so. Now that I’m about a month and a half away from departure, I can’t hide anymore. It must seem weird to you all that I’m nervous about this. Sure, I’ve done my fair share of traveling, so I may be more prepared than the average person, but that doesn’t supersede my fear. Terrified may be the word I’m actually looking for, but I’m trying to be a big girl here. I have never spent more than 2-3 months away from my family at a time, let alone be halfway across the world with a 12 hour time difference between us for a full year.
All of my relationships are going to be long-distance: friends, family, potential boo-thangs. ALLUM. People out here worried about their significant others missing them when they’re in a long-distance relationship and I’m out here concerned that I won’t survive without my lifelines.I know I’m being dramatic here (what’s new), but I think about all the big things I’ll miss and WOOH, the sadness. Has FOMO ever hit harder? Unsure, unclear, unaware.
I’m honestly so thankful that I have this opportunity. I know it’s big. I know it’s good. I know it’ll be worth it. I know! I know that God has been preparing me for this moment. I know this is a part of my calling. I know that this will open doors I hadn’t even dreamed about. I know. I’m so blessed to have a community here that I’ll miss, a family that promises to visit, and friends that swear they’ll keep me laughing thousands of miles away (I don’t doubt it). I’m still scared, terrified, and filled with fear; but more than anything I’m filled with gratitude and faith. I prayed for moments like this. Preparation has met opportunity, and it’s time to step up! Wish me luck my lovely wanderers <3
What scares you? Tell me about an experience where you were scared to take the leap but went anyway! Make me feel better about this move in the comments below!
Happy Wandering…