Family Vacations: The Good, the Bad, and the DONT DO IT!

AAAHHHHHHHHH…..family vacations! What could be better than taking a trip with the people who fed you, burped you, raised you, and annoyed the hell out of you? (I could honestly think of a couple of things, but let’s not go there). For the past couple of years, my family and I have been routinely going on family vacations. Throughout this relaxing and simultaneously stressful time, I’ve come to consider myself an expert at surviving family vacations. As a family vacay connoisseur, I’m here to tell you all about the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to dealing with your loved ones.

THE GOOD

It’s a momentous time to create memories with those you love most! You get to explore new places, bicker about what to eat, and compromise on things noone is really happy about. Oh, right, I’m supposed to leave “the bad” for the next section..right, right...moving on… Honestly, there is a lot of good that comes from spending a substantial amount of time with family. You break away from the daily stress of life and remove yourself from the “rat race” for a while. You also happen to be surrounded by people you care deeply about (no matter how often they get on your nerves). Through the hustle and bustle of life, it’s not often you get to sit down with your siblings or parents to ask how they’re doing. I’m not talking about the surface-level talks you get into during your weekly catch-ups, I’m talking about sitting down and asking “How are you?” on a deep and personal level. I’m not sure if you get to do that often, but I don’t, and family vacations give me a real opportunity to really connect. I’m forever grateful for that.

THE BAD

So this is the section where I can rant about the shxt we already know….there are some parts of family vacations that SUCK. It can be unbearable, but you make it through just like you made it through years of living with these people. There will be bickering, a possible fight or two (or eight), and there is almost a guarantee that your privacy will be violated. It’s basically like being a kid all over again, except instead of time-out (or a beating) you get the silent treatment and side-eyes and instead of wishing you could go outside and play, you wish you could go to a bar and drink yourself to oblivion. Outside...bar….same thing, right? Then there is the whole living in close quarters thing, smelling your brothers farts and dealing with their mess...not so fun. Hey, you’re going to argue with your family no matter where you are, so I’d much rather go back and forth on an island than at home, so I’m here for an argument, as long as we're in Jamaica!

THE UGLY

What could the ugly possibly be? I mean, we’ve already been through the bad. Well, for me the ugly was seeing my mom in a bathing suit. WHO AM I KIDDING? THAT WOMAN IS A BAD MAMMAJAMMA! Truly and honestly, the ugly was coming to the realization that as we get older, finding time for one another is going to be harder and harder. It’s understanding that my parents are getting older, my little brothers aren’t so “little” anymore, and we’re each embarking on journeys of our own. The ugliest part of family vacations is the overwhelming vulnerability you migh feel (I certainly did) while you’re surrounded by people who may know you better than you know yourself. The ugly is that there is good, there is bad, but you have to take it all in because it won’t always be possible or available. Life is short, and family vacations are a great time to cherish those you love most. So no matter how bad it gets, remember that these people are your family, and that means unconditional love and support, no matter how annoying and ignorant everyone is. Except for you.  

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A FAMILY VACATION? WHERE DID YOU GO AND WHAT DID YOU DEAL WITH? Let me know in the comments below!

"All Black People are Scared of the Police" WRONG.

I saw him and instinctively froze, my heart beating fast. His demeanor was very casual, he had a smile spreading across his face, and he even resembled me in color: unapologetically black. These characteristics did not stop me in my tracks, but the words boldly printed across his chest did: POLICE. He was an officer, a protector of the law, and my initial reaction was...fear.

As I looked around the car, I realized I was the only one who had had this frightening moment. The other passengers (all people of color) looked unaffected by the presence of the officer, and the driver of the vehicle even went passed the policeman on the road; she didn't look back to see if he would pull her over. An unprecedented act for any person of color in the United States. When I asked everyone why they were so nonchalant, the simplicity astonished me. Someone uneasily said, " This isn't America you know, you don't have to be scared of them here." It dawned on me that I was in Trinidad. Police aren't feared like in the States. The statement was followed up by a question. "Why would we be scared when we weren't doing anything wrong?"

Great question. Why was I scared? Could it be the ongoing genocide of African Americans in the United States of America? Possibly.

Just as prey live in fear of their predator, similar to the Jewish living in terror because of Nazi officials, African Americans generally live horrified at the sight of police. The difference is that while the identifying marker for Jews was a badge in Nazi Germany, they were able to take it off at the end of the day. It was a badge they could look in their closet and see. One they could store away, not having to deal with it until leaving their home. For an African Americans to find their marker they don't need to look in a closet, they just have to look in the mirror. Their skin is not stored anywhere except on their body. In the "land of the free" the wrong skin color is enough reason to compel an authority figure to insensibly fire bullets in your direction. 

Lightbulb moment: I've been conditioned to fear those appointed to protect me. 

As a black person, you don't wake up in the morning and choose to put your skin on. You don't need to alter your clothes for people to know that you're black. You don't even need to speak for people to know that you're black. You don't need to do anything, because you were born black. You can't remove your skin color, nor should you want to.

You are not the problem. Your skin is not the problem. You should not have to fear for your life. You should not have to explain injustice to your child. The color you were endowed is not threatening. But in America you are, it is, you do, you are, it is.

The system was not built for your success, it was built for your failure. SUCCEED ANYWAYS. The unjust killings, the systemic demise of African Americans, and the justice system are the problems. The solutions are complex, but in the efforts to create sustainable change, one thing is evident: we need to be united. There is power in numbers. Revolutions start with one person, a couple of people, but real change is seen when the masses gather. 

It's unfortunate that it struck me as odd that many people of color around the world don't fear the police. I'm not saying they don't get tickets, fines or pulled over; I'm saying that their interactions with policemen are justifiable, regardless of color. That isn't the case in the States. For the first time in my life I feel that where I live is the third world country, and not the places I am traveling to.

The world is a scary place on its own without genocide, racism or police killings. There is no reason that present day America should feel like Nazi Germany. If you want to "Make America Great Again" (even though it's never really been that great), why not start with ending the senseless killings of the second largest demographic in the country. 

#BLACKLIVESMATTER

This is usually where I ask you to leave a comment. Don't bother this time. I said what it was.